老餅范

中六級的企業寸概論科剛完成講授環境保護的課題；這個星期，開始探討企業社會責任。

這給我極大的反思。

一直以來， BS部門的同事都很有效率，不會浪費丁點兒時間；因此，儘管飯堂近在咫尺，大家都會「叫外賣」，以致同事們在午膳的黃金時間，可以「專心」地看網上新聞、打瞌睡、看後市走勢、msn、甚至進行網上遊戲。

昨天，我腦內的「環保化學物質感應系統」又自動性地啟動。和一大班學生一起享受午膳，才發現自己的「外賣拉麵」，包括了兩個發泡膠盒、連膠蓋、木筷子、膠匙、紙巾、牙簽、連大膠袋！！哎喲，一個外賣已令到這個地球多了這麼多垃圾！

撫心自問，當我們要求企業履行環保責任的同時，我們成人們的個人責任呢？作為社會一分子，我們也可否盡一分力，為未來社會做點事呢？

身教重於言教，我會身體力行，做良好公民。

I'm glad to have attended Professor Hau's lectures on motivation. He's marvellous and extinguished professor, though not everyone agrees.

I attended his lectures accidentally. I met Eric Kwan in the canteen, the former colleague of TSSS. He introduced me this module, telling me that the requirements are not too demanding. I'm not lazy but too busy. I will die if the module tutor requires us to submit too many assignments.

Professor Hau needs us to read one long article of each topic before the lecture. Well, it's fair and justified as we are postgraduate students. It's ridiculous that we just sit back and wait for the spoon-feeding of knowledge. Probably my saying does get someboday angry.

But one thing for sure, no pain, no gain. If we don't pay effort on the study, we gain less, or even little. How can we tell our students and children that even we teach them, but we are not eager to learn, or not serious to do so?

Back to the module, it says motivation is highly related to autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Of course, not all the activities can be linked to intrinsic motivation, and it's unavoidable to link up with extrinsic ones. Yet, we still can do something to internalize and integrate the extrinsic reward or regulations to the person.

Thank God that I have chance to learn those motivational theories. In fact, as a teacher of hundreds of students, it's disgrace that we don't know, or know little about people's motivation. It's not uncommon in HK, unfortunately.

Well, I really want to apply what I have known and learnt from motivational theories to my own children. Nevertheless, every time when i go back home, i'm quite tired and it's not easy for me to even play with them wholeheartedly. Energy levels always approach to the minimum. Is it only mentally? Well, i guess so. That's why I can't understand even a bit that Clara can work late at school, and have her own publications, and at the same time, taking care of her two kids.

Well, we still need to work hard, and be bold, mighty force will come to aid me. Yes, it will.

One best friend sent me an article a month ago about parenting, and I just "copy and paste" it for my personal blog.

好父親秘笈：身教勝於言傳
在一個主日的早晨有一對夫婦對上教會興趣缺缺，可是卻要他們的孩子參加教會的活動，因為他們覺得那些活動對他的孩子有益處。媽媽幫孩子穿好衣服準備要上主日學，孩子穿戴整齊後跑到爸爸面前對他說：「爸爸，我可以問你一個問題嗎？」身上披著晨袍，腳上也還穿拖鞋，癱坐在電視面前的父親回答道：「當然可以。」「我要到幾歲才可以像你們一樣不用上教會？」這位父親想了一下說：「等一下，爸爸和你一起去教會。」

多研究表明，父親對孩子品行的影響非常大。作父親的，只想作一個好父親仍不夠，還要想想怎樣去作一個好父親，努力認真去作一個好父親。這是主耶穌基督所交給我們神聖的任務。

現代家庭裏的父親和傳統的父親已大不相同，這無形給現代的父親教育子女帶來更大的挑戰。傳統父親在家庭中所扮演的角色主要是經濟的提供者、安全的護衛者與法律（家規）的執行者，通常較傾向于嚴父的形象。要想成為一個好父親就必須謙卑自己，不要有大男子主義，夫妻共同努力、彼此互補才能讓家變得溫馨、喜樂及充滿愛，所以丈夫謙卑自己能更有效發揮妻子協助丈夫治家的果效。所以，要想成為好父親之前，需要做一個好丈夫。

不僅如此，父親還要謙卑自己與子女成為朋友、打成一片。兩代人代溝問題成為親子關係和睦的最大障礙，所以父親與子女多溝通、保持親密關係至關重要，切勿一味的批評和居高臨下的發號施令，這些都會對孩子產生逆反心理。

研究發現，男孩在他成長中尋找父親榜樣的作用比起講課、責駡、懲罰、收買和哄騙等做法要遠遠有效得多。男孩往往會專注父親的一舉一動，注意他們的行為和價值觀的每一個微小的差異。處於叛逆期中的男孩，如能和他的父親有一些共同的愛好或者興趣，他們就可以平穩地度過叛逆期，而且這些體驗對他們來說會終身難忘。

女孩更注重父親形象，女兒似乎永遠是父親心中最柔情的那個角落，即便再嚴肅的男人在女兒面前也會溫情萬種，因此，父親對女兒來說永遠是個特別的角色。心理學研究發現，父親對女兒未來生活有著不可估量的影響。首先，父親奠定了女兒心目中最初的男性形象。如果女兒對父親的印象不好，或者父親在生活中忽視她的存在，她就會在將來擇偶中會設法取代心中的父親形象。

如果父親給女兒的感受是有責任、堅強和溫情的，她今後就會去尋找一個能比得上他父親的愛人。如果父親傲慢、驕橫、反復無常，女兒可能也會不尊重她的丈夫或者質疑他的判斷。但如果父親很溫情、有主見，和女兒相處融合，女兒將來的婚姻生活更可能是和諧的。與其嘮叨一千遍，不如自己以身作則行一遍。而且禁止讓孩子做的事情，為父的絕對不要做。比如，自己要潔身自好，不要飲酒、吸煙、賭博，不說髒話等。父母日常生活的言談舉止不知不覺中已深深影響著幼年的子女，所以我們要格外注意自己的言行。

Dear Xin Ming

I really forgot to welcome you joining our "chaotic" family. Well, today is your one-month-old birthday. Shall I, as your father on earth, say happy birthday to you. Hope you grow up properly and healthily, under the strength and glory of God.

Be frank, you're not expected from us. In fact, you mom and I had once decided not to "let" you come and join us. Please forgive us about it. And, mom and I were not in "good" relationship while you're still in mom's tummy; and please understand it, as we're under stress and chaos in the family.

Well, you're really a good kid, seldom cry non-stop, and simply sleep and eat.

Thank YOU for
giving me another chance to take a bath for a new born baby,
holding such "little" baby,
another chance to sing a song for the new born baby,
letting me change nappies,
reminding me the strength and power of being a mother,
reminding me what is worth more in my life, and
really thank YOU for giving my elder daughter and son how to be big siblings.

I'm very tired of being a busy teacher, a good and nice dad, an 'emotional' husband, a 'bossy' son..., your coming and joining us really gives us another challenge. Thank YOU for the challenge.

Take care my little son. Hope you enjoy being the youngest member of our family.

Daddy Clive