老餅范

第三名，通常是指考試名次或比賽結果，但對我來說，它意指我們家庭的新成員：預產期於八月一日的小男孩。

近月，聽到身邊的人說，恭喜我們，響應特首的呼籲，生三粒；我想已聽過類似句子超過廿次。說時容易輕鬆，卻知道養育之重檐又是如何、家庭經濟又是何等繁重。

不過，我深信， 衪的試煉不會超過我們所能承擔的。 我祇要向 衪禱告，把所有勞苦重擔都帶給衪、告訴衪，衪必給我們安息，保守我們心懷意念。

星期六晚和綺芬上晚堂崇拜，聽道時，看見綺芬肚內BB活動得厲害，隔着衣服也看到他佻皮地手腳並用地撐媽媽的肚皮。這就是生命。

姐姐心言及哥哥心培每晚都會親親細細佬。我們相信，他們日後會很疼惜這個意想不到的細細佬。

不過，這條豆釘仍未臨到世上，他的媽媽的腳已紅腫非常。要錄影給他看，讓他長大後好好侍候媽媽！！

It's so easy to say we understand someone's feelings and thoughts. It's particularly true for those to say so if he/she has acquired some knowledge and training in counselling. When we get older, it's too easy, again, to say we judge people accurately from their appearance, conversation, act, gesture, attitude...etc. Well, watch the following video clip:

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=LfeXxkbgCVE&feature=related

I was deeply impressed from the situation which happened recently in Yee Fun's family. Kwong needed our real and urgent help, but he failed to reveal what had happened to him until several serious conversation among us. Every time when we forced him to tell the truth, he told us a bit, and then a bit, and finally everything (hope it's so). He's Christian, going to church for so many years and yet, fell into temptation and greed. He fell off, and got lost.

What's important to him then, i truly believe, is love and care, from his family members. When he broke up with his girl friend, his church leader also helped them in the process.

Money can't settle everything but yet, it ruins a lot of things. Love and care build up everything.

Ture and frank communication is of utmost importance. After we got understanding with each other, we dare to give love, care, and acceptance to the one in need.

God has His own plan, and I deeply believe so. He work out something in Kwong and our family.

It was also the first time I led the prayer with Yee Fun's family and Kwong in a crowded restaurant. We shouldn't feel shame or shy on it but we pray with joy and pride. Thank you Lord for your amazing act.

I always think it's not coincident to have somebody meeting together, somehow and somewhere in time. No matter you like it or not, they appear in your life, throughout your life, or even, into your life.

So, what's life? Is it coincident also?

We do think we have lives when we have rational thinking. When we're sure we still have breathing, rational thought, feelings, pain and joyfulness, we're still alive. When we're still alive, we should ask: who give us the life? Mom and dad? or strictly speaking, a woman and a man.

But why does a woman and a man make love, and then a life comes? Why doesn't it a phenomenon but couples can't have one? If you know the utmost complicated procedures of having a baby, and the tremendous risk of both the mom and the baby-to-be in the embryo, you won't say it's natural and by chance.

Life must come from a source, an origin. A creator creates the first original system of a birth of an offspring, and then it comes generation by generation.

So, the creator must be so powerful that He/She/It have the skills and power to create lives, hundreds of thousands of different species of lives. If He/She/It can create lives, death can also be made in his/her/its will.

If lives come from coincidence, then why don't they come now, by coincidence?

That's my family, not by coincidence, but by arrangement from Him.

昨晚和陳廷三博士的一席話，獲益良多。 他分享了他讀PhD時候的決定和心路歷程，也建議給我多角度及多層面的看法和可行路向。我們也為現在教育界多〝不務正業〞的現況婉惜。老師工作量增多了，學生卻未有獲益多少。試問學生們看到一個疲於奔命、半條人命的老師在課室講授時，他們能否們興致勃勃、孜孜不倦地學習呢？進一步說，學生對某學科的鍾愛，很多時候原自於他對那老師的鍾愛、或對老師在該學科中的〝功力〞和熱誠產生強大的正面震撼力。 老師戰鬥力常處於低水平，試問他又如何令一眾學生們產生學習興趣呢？

亞仔每次與我同睡時，一定要有一隻手「踏」着我才可入睡，整個小頭蛋栽入我懷中。我甚至分別得出他的呼吸深淺和快慢以斷定他已否入睡。 這就是Dr Chan所述的：兒女是我們骨中的骨、肉中的肉，是生命的延續，卻也是一個獨立、有自己生活體驗和經歷的小人兒。

我要好好禱告，尋求父的心意，得着衪的應許便凡事都可行。

由於心培仔一月出世，入讀幼稚園時的年齡便有點尷尬。因此，呢條小蟲便成為宣道會寶湖幼兒學板N1班的「大仔」，而他又真的比其他同學高 (甚至高出一個小頭位)。 當然，外表仍然好BB，甚至爺爺仍未改口，叫他BB。

他仍然在晚上穿pampers，一直用奶樽飲奶。神奇的是，有一天我和他在學校門口聽到為為的媽媽告訴老師，她已「戒掉」奶樽喝奶；當時我還「打蛇隨棍上」，叫小蟲肥仔學同學用杯喝奶。

上星期，肥仔突然問：為為用甚麼喝奶奶？我便直說 (我深信，事實上他清楚記得，不過要confirm罷了)。怎知他二話不說，便要求用杯。他一向有「堅持」的能耐和特性。 我和綺芬都嘖嘖稱奇，並慶幸肥仔這個突然但正確的改變。

為為是一個很可愛美麗的小女孩，樣子好BB，心培常把她名字掛在口邊 (還有文曉聰、麥可程、江凱燕、Eason、Nelson...)，但估不到的是，心培的「堅持」就這樣容易被溶化掉！！

教養孩童，需要足夠的智慧與能耐，但切忌揠苗助長；祇要父母有充足信心，繼續自已教導上的信念，就讓轉變(慢慢)持續便行了。

對孩子最重要的，並不是父母能給予甚麼物質、舒適的生活，而是在他們成長的日誌內，有父母們的足跡和參與，並成為他們的回憶中重要而甜美的部份。

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24

I and my wife had a good talk with the pastor of my church and his wife last Saturday evening. I also shared with them my intention and worries over it. They gave us (particularly me!!) good comfort and confidence, and also assures us that God will help us make a good path according to His will, His plan, and our strength of handling.

Yesterday I also read a book about prayer to God. Prayer is so powerful that it really works. The reason is of course, that He rule the world, and is the creator. He don't have anything that he is not capable of.

The question is only this: whether it's His will, or my own will only. Is it something that I wish to avoid, or I really wish to follow His will.

I'm going to cope with great pressure if I decided to do the plan, views from relatives and friends, my future career, family financial burden, our living standard...etc. But Pastor Tung and Mrs Tung assured us the adequate confidence that God will take care of the rest, if the decision is in His plan.

Life is short, and worse of all, it's goalless if we strive for a living only for money, for a betterment of living, comfort in living...etc. Are our goals set from our own desire? What do we depend on in our short life? What's God's plan on me in his Place?

I also decided to talk to Dr. CHAN, who is one of the influencial persons in my life towards having a baby. I adore him, and he's a good follower of God. I wish I can get a better idea from him upon my plan.

* * * * * *

Xin Yan and Xin Pei are so great and kind to each other. I can't stop kissing them and hugging them all the time. Time is short, and I don't wanna miss the unique opportunity of having a good time with them, with Yee Fun, and of course, with my dad. He's 74+ years old already.

May God lead my way, my family, and my life towards Him.

Amen.

It's unbelievable to say that i got to bed so late last night (seriously speaking it's early this morning!!), 3.40am to be exact. Probably I slept too late and failed to make a dream easily. Worse than that, I got up "automatically" before six, that means I had only less than 3 hours sleep. It's also astonishing that I didn't stumble over in the street, and can still keep alive. Finally I finished marking all the F. 6 assignments and could return them all to the students this morning, or I will receive a complaint! Another nightmare is yet to come: marking the F. 6 examination scripts within 10 days, starting next Monday, followed by two exam paper scripts checking in early July. It's not easy to imagine how big problem it is for the colleagues. We have 4 "experienced" colleagues in the Business Studies Department, more than 10 years working here, and then no more "semi-experienced", because they all went to other schools or institutions. Life is so hard working here. I could join the school simply because a teacher failed to 'cope with' such big stress and resigned only one month after the start of last school year. It's quite terrible that she vomitted after eating even just a small bite, simply because of stress. For me? Well, I had so many days working late until nine in the evening, and then "pulled" back my exhausted body home. Life is not like that. Though it brings you good reputation and even envy from working here, it's nothing else but exhaustion, both physically and mentally, and even spiritually. Worse than that, job satisfaction is rare cos you are only the "teaching staff" but not "educator". You don't need to talk about moral standard, values, good characters...etc. but good (or excellent) public exam results obtained from students of your class(es). That's it, and that's all. I had made a decision, a decision of relief. Life is not like that.

上星期三，我就一如以往的日子一樣，到維園參加六四悼念燭光集會。今年我更帶同我條小蟲心培參加；他當然未明白當中意義，更把玩手中的白火燭，不過，這不太重要，因為這就好比撒在泥土裏的種子，我是農夫，祇管好好澆水、施肥，總有一天，他(它)會茁壯成長，讓薪火慢慢相傳，為512四川大地震和19年前在天安門被殺掉的死難者討回應有的尊嚴。

5.12大地震，共有七千多所學校倒塴，反而由私人籌辦的大多數卻屹立不倒。專家們視察後感到驚訝：一些學校的基本設計出現根本錯誤，用的鋼材和數目遠低於要求；無數生命就如此犧牲掉。因此，人的貪念、政策的不足及錯漏，可以注成不能想像的壞後果。 這是我堅持要悼念六四的主因 －－要汲取教訓，做好制度，打擊貪腐。

小女兒上年已參加過集會了，未出世的小兒也將會在未來的日子，參加這個悼念會。

* * * * * *

美國總統大選，民主黨最終由黑人奧巴馬 (Barack Obama)勝出，代表該黨成為十一月總統大選的民主黨代表；他由開初不被看好的情況下，擊敗前第一夫人、現任參議員、本為大熱門的對手希拉里 (Hilary Clinton)，這就說明，沒有甚麽事是不可能的。正如奧巴馬說的競選口號: Change. We Believe In.

* * * * * *

昨晚一夥人(義訓九零)到紹麒家相聚，看BB，談近況，Emily 說看見我老了許多，她不相信我會老 (因我有 衪賜我一張孩子臉)；她又分享她很久沒有連續睡超過四小時。我也一樣，打從女兒出生，也很少能睡得長、睡得詳；小兒出生後情況更「嚴峻」！人真的老了。我要好好的數算日子，數算 祂給我的恩典，並準備好將來。

"But this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past and bring new energy and new ideas to the challenges we face. Our time to offer a new direction for the country we love."
-- Barack Obama, a 46-year-old black man who finally won the Democratic nomination for President of the United States.

Yes, we need to change. In fact, once we're born to earth, we start to change, physically, mentally, emotionally, intelligently, and spiritually.

I am the one who is not confident to accept changes but yet, I always have change. I am not always satisfied with the status quo. I change my jobs, change the number of my family members(oh gosh!!!), change my study direction and programmes, change my style (relatively slow!), change my views towards things. One thing I haven't changed in these 18 years -- the faith to God. I believe He is real, kind, full of mercy, justice, and total control over the universe, and most importantly, He is the origin of Love.

The third bb is coming to our family in less than two months. Well, we're prepared, psychologically and physically, and so are the kids. Blessed to God that they are not envy towards this new member.

Yet, I wanna change, change my career, change my workstyle, and even change my 'title'. What I mean is, I really wish to become a full-time house-husband, taking care of those 3 kids and the family, and at the same time, writing my book. This is a book about a father of three monsters.

Life is full of colours. Colours can be added or mixed up with, on your own, with your discretion. It's in your hands, with God's permission of course.

If you don't want to add colours, or even prefer mono-tone, well, it's only black and white. If you're not satisfied with it, take the first move and see what happens.

Life on earth is short, pretty short, and more importantly, I don't know when it ends. But I won't be unhappy if in the end, lose my life because I'm sure I will go back to God's place. Definitely I will regret that I cannot have more time to enjoy the God's creation, enjoy the moments with my family and friends, enjoy my life from God that I can help and contribute to the world.

Yesterday, I went to Victoria Park with Xin Pei, for the memory of the deaths who died in the tragedy on June 4, 1989. Though my son didn't understand the meaning of candle-night ceremony, but I'm sure, one day, he understands, one day, he takes over my place, until the day when the Central Government admits those students' bravery and kind heart.